What to tell a child when their friends hurt their feelings – Part 3

Just a few weeks ago, I was writing about how there was this boy, Jack, who had hurt her feelings and then when it happened again, I wrote about a coping strategy I taught her.

I am not the type of parent who confronts the child or school for letting it happen unless there is a real possibility of serious emotional or physical injury. To me, these incidents are helping my child learn life skills of learning to deal with people of different temperament and personalities.

The Clint Eastwood in me says ” “If you fight every fight for the kid, the kid ain’t gonna learn how to fight for herself. ”

So, a week after that happened, the Teacher comes up to me after school one day and says, “Today, Jack had a presentation in class. Bea got up and draggggggged her chair across the room, said, “I don’t need to listen to this” and proceeded to do her own work quietly.”

Me : “She did?” (I had to swallow my last word – Wow)

Me : Bea, you did that?

Bea nods.

Me: Would you like it if someone dragged  their chair while you were doing your presentation? Please don’t do it next time.

Not much of a scolding by my standards.

You know what, perhaps it’s was the wrong course of action but seriously, how many times have we imagined slamming table and walking out of a useless meeting run by….. (I’ll let you fill the blanks with your choice of apt words) and I sometimes have imagined other more creative ways – the most mild one being, “oops, did the water just spill on the their laption, short circuiting the entire room and when the finger touches the one the buttons, some form of electrocution happens and perfect peace is achieved). But instead, we sit there, tolerating the meeting, going with social conventions, hoping for an end to the torture.

The next time I end up in a situation with someone saying things that I don’t care for, I might just try saying “I don’t need to listen to this.” and walk away.

So for Bea to drag her chair and say that – it takes guts.

GUMPTION – you can’t teach that.



2 Responses to “What to tell a child when their friends hurt their feelings – Part 3”

  1. Wow! What a brave girl! Good job, Cecilia!

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